Sleep training can be a daunting task, especially when welcoming a new baby into a household with a toddler. Balancing the needs of both children while establishing a peaceful sleep routine can feel overwhelming. Lou Childs, co-founder of SlumberPod, recently interviewed Laura Hunter, co-founder of Moms on Call, to glean her insights on effective sleep training methods, modifications for older siblings, and strategies for creating a harmonious sleep environment for the entire family.

Lou: How can parents help their toddler adjust to the changes in routine and attention that come with sleep training a new baby? 

Laura: Understanding that toddlers are incredibly adaptable is key. Our kids are strong, and resilient, and with a few tools in our arsenal, we can make a significant difference.

At Moms on Call, we’ve specialized in sleep training for over 20 years. While I don’t particularly like the term "sleep training," as babies are inherently capable of sleeping, our role is to support them in this process. Consistency is crucial, and while it’s easier with one child, you can still create a solid foundation for routine with multiple kids.

Aim for a routine that balances flexibility with predictability. Set realistic expectations and be open to adjusting routines to meet the varying needs of children at different ages. Personally, I found joy in running errands and staying busy in the mornings, which set us up for lunch and a structured nap time, allowing for downtime for everyone—including me!

Lou: What strategies can involve the toddler and make them feel included during this transition?

Laura: I always have a few key phrases ready to engage my toddler. For example, "I know you want to play right now, but babies take time. After I feed the baby, we can play with blocks together."

Understanding your toddler’s unique motivators is essential. The Toddler by Design quiz, available in the Moms on Call Knowledge Center, can help identify what drives your toddler. This isn’t a personality test; it’s about uncovering their specific motivators, whether they lean towards social interaction, movement, engineering, or something else.

Once you know your toddler’s design, you can tailor activities that engage them while attending to the baby. For instance, if your toddler is social, provide them with a book full of faces to explore while sitting beside you, allowing for interaction.

Lou: What effective sleep training methods work when there’s a toddler in the house?

Laura: As the baby grows and starts to roll over and become more active, it’s essential to allow both the baby and toddler to coexist peacefully or maybe not so peacefully at times. Many parents worry that the baby will wake the toddler; however, it’s important to resist the urge to "save the quiet one" when the baby makes noise.

Both the baby and toddler need to learn how to wake up and settle back down. Provide a supportive sleep environment with a safe sleep space, high-quality white noise, and a dark room. Typically, babies can self-soothe and settle back down within 20 minutes. 

Lou: How can parents sync the baby’s sleep schedule with the toddler’s established routine?

Laura: Combining sleep routines can be challenging, but we recommend getting all children to bed by 7:30 or 8:00 PM. While newborns may go to bed closer to 8:00 or 9:00 PM during the first few weeks, it becomes easier to combine bedtime routines as they grow. The Combined toddler and newborn routines are located in the Moms on Call Toddler Resources (see “Bringing Home a Sibling”).

If both parents are home, one can handle the toddler and the other the newborn, alternating responsibilities. If you’re managing it solo, setting up an assembly line in a safe space—like a master bathroom equipped with toys and pajamas—can help streamline the process. 

Lou: What tips do you have for juggling different bedtimes?

Laura: Prioritize the bedtime routine as it’s crucial for your children's overall development. Create a calm and enjoyable atmosphere where you can read stories, pray, and share highlights of the day. This intentional time fosters connection amidst the chaos of daily life.

I recommend minimizing distractions during this time—try to avoid phone calls and emails. Aim for about 75% of your evenings to be dedicated to this family time, while allowing for the occasional flexibility.

Lou: How should parents handle a toddler who frequently comes into their room at night during the sleep training process?

Laura: We encourage parents to act from a place of truth rather than fear. Safety is paramount; ensure that your toddler's room is childproofed so they can remain safely in their space. This might involve turning the doorknob around to prevent them from roaming the house, which is akin to a crib in terms of safety.

If your toddler is coming into your room at night, consistently guide them back to their room. By establishing this routine, both the toddler and newborn can coexist peacefully.

Lou: How can parents manage their toddler’s schedule alongside the baby’s without disrupting sleep training?

Laura: It is extremely important to focus on consistency and creating a routine, while allowing for flexibility. Ensure both the baby and toddler have a comfortable sleep environment, including a high-quality sound machine and a dark room. 

By implementing the strategies we’ve discussed, parents can navigate the complexities of sleep training while fostering a nurturing environment for both their toddler and newborn. 

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If you need help with any of these techniques or seek personalized support, consider partnering with one of our experienced consultants, who are all nurses with pediatric expertise and are also mothers themselves. We are available for in-home (depending on location) and highly effective virtual options offered globally.